“Being Myself is Getting Me Nowhere”
by Michael Nhat
question things among yourselves but always trust your dentist
invite her to lunch tomorrow
(even though a month later she’ll say “just friends”)
make a resume based on things i care about like falling through roofs
imagine back then so you don’t forget the meaning of generosity
learn to read bad handwriting
no one eats bat anymore
name your curtains in case they ever talk back
always hope the worst for people it gives you self-esteem
i first talked about hate in 1993
love traditions they are good for your joints
i always eat pho on my birthday
The line of crooked teeth
my shoes are black
(Unscramble)
adnil tsaw a tac nmdea wcomso
what leaves you speechless?
Marvel multiplied to an infinite degree yet you’re losing yourself to the common cold
(I’ve lost count)
“no word could exude life like an image could”
make them die slowly
no one knows how miserable i am because i’m too embarressed to write it
but i know my fate
ignored in my lifetime like david hume
and get famous after i die in the plane crash i was suppossed to die in along time ago
(i want in on the bets)
i am proud to die saying i have never been to disneyland
i am proud to die saying i have never been to a stripclub
the only thing i have learned from trying to meet someone new is how to get shot and not bleed anymore
don’t commit suicide or you’ll never get your deposit back on the apartment
being myself is getting me nowhere
(maybe i should take up acting)
TEN-HEADED SKELETON 
you always keep it real. thank you for sharing your art with the world!
i don’t know what “keep it real” means but i’ll take that as a compliment thank you.
Michael Nhat, thank you for being you! your words are all at once sad-sharp-biting and hilarious. is it effed up to say so much of your work is actually pants-wetting funny?? or, it’s just my inappropriate response to the depressing reality you write and sing about.
all the same, thank you for putting it out there. i appreciate it.